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Drink real beer (The Session no.78)

Logo image of The Session, beer blogging FridayThe Session is a monthly event for the beer blogging community, started by Stan Hieronymus of the Appellation Beer blog. This is how it works: on the first Friday of each month, beer bloggers write about a predetermined topic. A different blog hosts each round of The Session. The host blog selects a topic, and then posts a roundup of all the responses received. For all you need to know about The Session, including the upcoming topics, check out the Brookston Beer Bulletin’s blog page.

This month’s Session is hosted by me of this blog. My chosen topic: You’re elevator pitch for beer.

The scene: I’ve walked into an elevator and hit the button for the 13th floor. Already in the lift is a person holding an open bottle of beer.  The bottle is clear and the label displays a famous brand. It’s probably a symbol that you know well because it appears in many forms of massive marketing displays, from glossy full page magazine spreads to large roadside billboards, from major sporting events to world tour rock concerts. An extreme amount of money is spent to market this brand. (It may also be one of the beers I mentioned my Bad Beer Week post.)

Let’s just say that there is a very good chance this product that I find unappealing contains a low-flavour, pale coloured, generic style lager with an abv of between 4.0-5.0%. It wafts a musty aroma of stale sticky pub nostalgia (mmm, Pride of Ringwood). I quickly glance around, up and down. I see no smoke-machine or guy with a guitar. I see no good reason why this beer should be present in this time and place.

Without hesitation I look them in the eye and drop my (work in progress) pitch…

“Have you ever tasted real beer? It’s a glorious experience.

Real beer is crafted for a reason. That reason starts with a love of beer’s ingredients and a passion for the art and science of brewing. Real beer is crafted for a time and place, it has a purpose. Real beer gives you a reason to enjoy it, because it offers flavour, character, complexity and a lasting impression.

The beer you’re drinking is not real beer, because it was not made with a good reason. The reason that beer exists is to make more money for companies that just want more money. It was created by marketing departments for the accountants. That beer was not made with the true ingredients that make real beer. It’s been concocted with processed ingredients and substitutes for the reason of saving expenses so they can make more money.

Real beer takes you on both sensory and social adventures of discovery. If you keep buying large quantities of the same bland beer over and over, there will be no adventure and no discovery. There will be no reason for that beer, because it’s not real beer.

Real beer has a reason to drink it.

If that reason is good, the beer will be good.

If your reason for drinking it is bad, the beer will be bad.

Real beer has reason.

And it’s up to you to say if the reason is good or bad.

So tell me, what’s a good reason for that beer?”

I wrote those 250 words in one hit this afternoon. It’s a rushed and rough starting point for something I want to develop, as I try to discover my ultimate argument for a better beer world, which has essentially been my purpose for this round of The Session. My pitch provides the general theme and direction of the argument I seek to nail. Now it just needs a year of work and revision to make it work. All the contributions offered for The Session this month will help me with that task.

Shiny red beer in a tulip glass

Mmm…I think it’s quite reasonable to say that this beer is good beer for the reason that it delights a new corner of my mouth!

3 thoughts on “Drink real beer (The Session no.78)

  1. Pingback: The Session #78: 30-seconds to sell craft beer! | Queen City Drinks

  2. Pingback: The Session 78 Roundup – You pitched, you scored | beer bar band

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